As I write this, you’re laid on my lap, half on my chest and we’re listening to The 1975 – Is There Somebody Who Can Watch You. It’s about Matty (the lead singer) having to go on tour and leave his little brother. He feels responsible for him. The same way I feel responsible for you. I try and make the best life decisions for myself so you learn from me without making the same mistakes I have. I try and be the best role model for you so that life is easier on you.
I’m planning on moving to Brighton soon, or maybe London, which is quite a big thing for a 19 year old, moving a few hours away from parents that have always been there for me the same way they will always be there for you but I hope you know, when you read this, that no matter where I am in the world, I’ll always be there for you. Be it via social media, a phone call or even a letter.
You’ll always have people there for you, even just friends. So long as you talk.
For the longest time, when I was a teenager, I bottled feelings up and the bottle would burst at the worst point, during class, at mum, at dad, at friends. I was a ticking time bomb at all times. I destroyed relationships and made it hard for myself at home and school because I didn’t like talking to people, not about my emotions at least. It’s difficult, I know. It can make you feel weak, guilty because you know other people have their own problems. However, no matter what I’m dealing with or what mum’s dealing with, we’re all ears for you.
Don’t make the mistake of tearing relationships apart because you won’t talk about what’s really bothering you and so you take it out on others. You will regret this when you push everyone away and really don’t have anyone to talk to. Also, talking about how you feel has so many more perks than keeping it to yourself, you’ll get solutions this way and if not solutions then you’ll gain advice. Sometimes that’s not even what you need, sometimes you just need someone to listen and I can always offer my best. I hope when you grow up, you won’t hesitate to call me up for a coffee and rant because I’ll always make time for you. Even now, when I have two jobs and a blog and YouTube channel to run, they’ll never come before you. Especially when you need me.
And one day, you will need someone, to take the pressure off and reassure you that you’re doing a good job with your exams, your first job, boy problems, friendship group quarrels. I’ve got you.
What I’m really getting at is this; you can hold a glass of water up above your head all day and it won’t get heavier but your arm will ache until you put the glass down.
So put the glass down, give it to me or mum or someone you trust in order to relieve yourself because life doesn’t get less stressful, you’ll always have something to worry about but it’s nicer to have someone to worry to and with.
Text me when you feel like it.
Good luck moosh.