Dear Lacey, I’m about to get in the bath feeling pretty rubbish about myself… which is why I’m getting in the bath, a little self pampering is never a bad thing.
You’re probably wondering why I’m feeling rubbish and it’s because sometimes, the smallest thing will happen and trigger a chain of reactions. Tonight, I was supposed to be going out with mum and dad to celebrate my new job but they cancelled.
As they have done the past couple of times with weak excuses like “I need a shower.” And the thing is, whilst this itself isn’t very important, it’s the feeling that follows.
The feeling of not being enough.
And then, if you’re anything like me, you turn into Britney Spears 2007 (look it up) and start actually believing you aren’t good enough. Wondering why your blog doesn’t get more views, why your ex cheated on you, why your parents won’t come out for a drink and catch up but have no issue seeing everyone else throughout the day.
Why aren’t you worth anyone’s time?
Why is it that when you go home, it isn’t hello, it’s why are you here?
Why are you only called by your child hood nickname for emotional leverage or on your birthday and not every day anymore?
Why does growing up suck?
Why do you have to pay your own bills?
Why don’t half terms exist when you have jobs?
This, my love, is called a meltdown. Similar to the ones you have at your age (right now, you’re seven) but about actual responsibility and not the lack of a blue lollipop.
As an adult, especially a young adult, it’s okay to have meltdowns over little things so long as you let it go. You’re kind of dropped into adulthood, like being thrown into the deep end of a pool and just expected to know how to swim but it isn’t quite that simple, so sometimes, you’re gonna crack a little. But keep it at that. Nothing you cry about as an adult will be fixed by a cuddly toy and a nap… most of the time.
So take your time, cry, have a bit of a strop, over react but let. It. Go. It isn’t worth too much thinking about and you shouldn’t let the small things that take time to fix get to you too much. Trust me when I say, things do work out. I’ve been searching for a marketing job for ages, it’s what I want to do and it will expand my knowledge on blogs etc. I can incorporate skills I’ve taught myself into the skills I’ll learn in marketing and after three years of being out of college, I’ve found one. I’ve been working on my blog for four years and I’ve only recently got it to how I like it. Some things just take time and you must have faith in yourself that slowly but surely, you’ll achieve your goals. So when you have a down day because someone let you down or your friends went out without you, just remember, that’s okay. Because you’ll get over it and it won’t matter in a week or two so don’t spend too much time stressing over it now. Take an hour or two to play with your hair, have a long soak in the bath, do your make up, paint a picture. Anything that takes care of you because you are important. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
This post was written in two halves, the first half (all of the salty stuff) was when I was upset, the second half was on my first day of training at my new job. I am living proof that these meltdowns are temporary and mum and dad being a little too busy for you isn’t actually that big of a deal.
I hope you read my “Dear Lacey” posts and take them in, I won’t write about anything I can’t back up, prove or promise. Listen to me, trust me and as always,
Good luck Moosh.